Diagnosis

My son's name is Javier. He just turned four years old 2 weeks ago. Last Friday 24 June 2011, we took him to the doctor for an assessment and what we had been fearing for months is now confirmed. Javier has autism.

The first step in the assessment was a series of tasks like pointing colors, shapes, counting, picture recognition. When the nurse asked Javier, "What is your name?" All he said was "My name is... is... is" I knew he knew his name but when asked he would always resort to not being able to fill the blanks. He was also asked where he lived, and he needed some prodding before he even mentioned "Bishan."
 
The nurse asked Javier to stack blocks which he did. Then she asked him to put five blocks on her hand. He decided to stack all the blocks on her hand. The nurse told him he was generous.

Then he was asked to name all the pictures shown to him and he named all correctly.

Next, she assessed his gross motor skills. Can he walk (yes), can he jump (yes), can he stand still on one foot for 10 seconds (the longest he stood still on one foot was 7 seconds, after that he hopped away to the direction of the window and pointed out and said, "Sky!" 

After that, we had a long session with the doctor where we went into details to tell her what our problems with Javier were.

I told her that his kindergarten teacher informed us that Javier behaved "differently" in school. Though he wasn't disruptive, he was aloof and didn't really take an interest to playing with the other kids. At this stage, he was still in 'parallel play' (adjacent playing, but not actually playing with another child) and he made little eye contact.

Toilet training was another thing. While he communicated his need to pee at home, he faced anxiety at the kindergarten and would pee in his pants without letting anyone know. I sense some of his teachers find it troublesome to clean after him when he does not say the need to go to the toilet. At home, he is out of diapers during the daytime and even if we put him in diapers at night he manages to stay dry until he wakes up the following morning.

The doctor asked other specific questions. Did he had a stage when he was tiptoe-ing (yes, when he was learning to walk), when did he start walking (at 14 months), if he wanted something what did he do to tell us (he would pull my hand and take me to the object). The doctor said that Javier had a lot of vocabulary in his head but he is not able to make a connection with the words in his brain and be able to say it aloud.

I also told the doctor that up to now, I am not able to sustain a conversation with Javier. Even a one-question conversation is an arduous task. If I asked him how his day was, he would stare at me and then look away. If I asked him what he ate for lunch (or dinner), he would always say "rice, chicken and salad" even though he did not really eat those things. He would be right about the rice. But I learned that "chicken" meant any kind of meat and "salad" meant any kind of vegetable.

Javier also did something very strange while I was narrating to the doctor about his condition. All the while I was talking, he was echoing every single word I said (echolalia). From the "actually" at the start of my sentence, till the "eh?" expression I gave when I noticed that he was echoing me. I did not know whether to laugh or cry. I looked at Javier and he seemed to find it funny (which I also thought was funny, given his expression) but my heart also sank because I knew this behavior is not normal.

After an hour of talking to the doctor, she paused, looked at me and my husband straight in the eye and said that my son displays behavior that falls in the autism spectrum. I sense that she was trying her best to be politically correct. She gave us the options for treatment and what we can do to make sure Javier reaches his full potential.  I managed to keep a straight face while she was breaking the saddest news of my life. I felt no tears coming, perhaps my mind sensed it was time to be in alpha mode. I felt as if it was not really happening (I wish it wasn't) but it was.

Javier was still smiling when we got out of the doctor's room. He seems to be genuinely happy, completely unaware that his parents just got the most shocking news.

I held my husband's hand tightly and as I looked at him, I saw how lucky I was to be married to such a kind and brave man.

So this is where it starts. It's a long journey with a different path, but a journey nonetheless.